This is me in 2016. A bit fatter than the previous years, a bit smarter perhaps too. Although I heard that fat people have brains of skinny people 10 years older than them. So I'm not really smart.. but wise.
I just made this photo actually and touched it up with several tools, cut by gimp.0 comments
When I had my psychosis in Ottawa and Toronto, I didn't have too many opportunities to hurt others. Even though I hated everyone around me, I was curious to find the source of my delusions. I rode my bike a lot to find the source which would have looked like a bunch of vampires and behaved like succubi. As my psychosis continued over time the worst shape I became. I started throwing pennies at limosines as they were driving past me in Toronto. It was a good thing that I did not have access (opportunity) to a firearm. Would I have used it? I don't know. Psychosis puts you to the test on what person you are.
When that guy at the hostel knocked on my forehead and said "this is what you're doing to me" and implying that I was somehow knocking on his forehead with my thoughts which I believe I was trying to do, I realised that this guy was out to screw me over. He meddled with my mentally weakened and delusional state. And I hated him. Had I a gun I might have shot him down. Instead I went out with my bike and tried to forget the incident.
I'm glad that's the way I reacted because I am not a violent person. I did see a few weird things. Like the chinese american lady at the hostel who must have shown a blue led into her eye because her left eye was lit blue. She tried to screw with my mind too. She asked me several times, "what do you know?". I drew blank. Later I went with her for a walk around Ottawa's parliament she said I was very stressed but did not say I should get help. Perhaps she was afraid. I think I might have rode my bike into the backyard of 24 Sussex Drive but it was open (the gates). And somehow I ended up on the Ottawa River anyhow so I think it was just a parkette.
What else was weird. Oh yes as I was biking around a car stopped at a traffic light and the driver opened the door and dropped something. A piece of paper. After the car left (there wasn't many cars on the road) I went to pick up that paper and it had a number of 5 or 6 digits on it. I drew blank again. I was sure that it was a psychological trap to see if I'd pick it up. Someone else was watching. But who? Anyhow I managed to do most things by myself but it was increasingly difficult. The horror that something was terribly wrong with me was causing tension inside me, I tried to relax. I started drawing on paper with crayons and I did this at the airport when I left Canada that time. Being able to leave the situation, the weird people, my delusions, my fears. I tried to imagine that Canada was infested by vampires (part of my psychosis) and that Europe was full of wolves based on a British guys wolf tattoo that I saw at the hostel in Toronto.
Somehow being away gave me comfort but I was still delusional. I was home, but in a strange land (hadn't been a resident of Germany for 15 years prior), and I agreed to psychiatric counselling and treatment after some time. I don't know why I needed to write this now but it's for all those that have a psychosis and those who don't become violent as me. Luckily I had an escape like I was told, but escapes are only needed when your situation has no more routes to go. It should be noted I visited Canada after that twice, and I don't think it's infested by vampires anymore luckily. This is also for Glen Race, who I just read about in the Toronto Star.0 comments
I've always wondered what takes more electricity, a DSL modem or a Fibre Optic Transceiver. If a DSL modem or even VDSL takes up a lot of electricity then it's a waste, and should be replaced with fibre optic transceivers.0 comments
I'm gonna keep it short. A Turkey that's a dictatorship within NATO doesn't fit. A Britain "defending" the EU doesn't work. The continued mission in Afghanistan serves only the Afghani security situation, o really? What we need is a military alliance within the EU and only the EU. Some politicians have already made that call. But keep NATO as the non-EU countries (America, Canada, Britain, Norway), do with Turkey what you wish, it wouldn't be part of the EU anymore.0 comments
I ordered 4 books, something different from computer (programming).
I'd vote Jill Stein of the US Green Party. Perhaps lesser known than the GOP candidates, but the Green Party has been around a long time (if Ralph Nader tells you anything). However there is always accusations by the GOPs that parties like the Greens take away the winning vote, I wouldn't let that deter me. I'd vote who I want to vote for not to vote someone else out. Democracy is about pro choice not anti choice. At least it should be so.0 comments
I had a project to give 6 routers to my neighbours. I sent them a letter asking them whether they would like to do this, and I'd do a lottery which neighbour in which house would get a router. All in all I intended to invest 220 euros per neighbour that gets a router, but it didn't work. They must have thought it was a scam. In the picture you see the red dots, that's where my project would have been, but now I have 6 spare routers for freifunk franken that I want to get rid of/sell. I guess mesh networks don't interest people that aren't exactly technology freaks. It's a bit too bad.0 comments
When you're an ISP or similar network in Germany that is under DoS, there is a law that you must report it to the government? No shitting you! Meldepflicht. So if you're a source of dos yourself and you get dosed you can't vigilante back really.0 comments
Well I've done it. I clicked deactivate my account. 8 months of time wastage. While I was there I also cleared my cookie history and browsing history from the beginnning of time. This was actually all under "browsing history" in chrome.0 comments
On this day in
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